If this sounds familiar, it’s because we’ve all encountered these stretching and resistance routines in many other present-day exercise classes. She ends the class with a cooldown session that includes a shoulder stand and a long inhale. Without stopping for a breath, we go into hip exercises that left me sore for two days, and finally, some work on the buttocks. Then it’s time for arm exercises, which include pulsed circles, turns, and at one point, crouching down and pretending like we’re “pulling weeds”-something, I guess, women did often in 1982? The waist exercises move muscles I forgot existed the series of ab routines that follow are killer. She goes straight into stretches, then a brief aerobics bit to get us warmed up. “Are you ready to do the workout?” she asks excitedly and a small group of very attractive people in the background cheer. Now, Fonda is 45 and sporting a, well, interesting haircut, a striped and belted leotard, violet leggings, and leg warmers while jumping along to some heavy synth music. Then, before I have time to process just how novel this decades-old personalized formula feels in the age of on-demand workout subscriptions-ClassPass! PopIn! FitReserve!-the video rewinds back to the ’80s. Even when I tried going to the gym, I had no idea how any of the treadmill machines worked, and always felt silly pressing buttons randomly while others seemed busy sweating it out. I’ve tried everything: yoga (too cult-y), Pilates (too expensive), barre (too much shaking), Spinning (see above). Still, I do understand there are enormous health benefits to working out, which is why, every now and then, I go on the lookout for that one exercise class that is finally going to change my life. To make matters worse, a few years ago, after being dragged to an indoor Spin class, I ended up being hospitalized for five days- true story. The only workout clothes in my closet are the same Nike shirts and leggings I’ve owned since I was 16 and they remain in pretty great condition. In college, when all my friends became overzealous yogis, I was the one who couldn’t do tree pose without falling over. As a teenager, I was always coming up with a variety of ludicrous excuses for getting out of PE class. I’ve never, at any point of my life, been into exercise.
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